my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
