TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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