idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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