did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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