Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me