becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
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Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
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He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.