Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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