He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
