Umm I'm too high to move.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
