I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
