He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
