Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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