Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
