At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
