Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize