Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
