Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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