She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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