we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
