I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
