I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
