Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
