I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
