my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
