My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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