I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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