I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just had sex bonerless
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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