While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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