is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
my liver is dry heaving
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
