Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
