why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
