ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
