OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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