Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
this must be what syphilis tastes like
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
