If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
