I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
zippers are such a cool invention
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
