how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
