I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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