now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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