I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
