I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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