You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
