i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
