You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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