I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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