what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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