only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just had sex on a roof
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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