yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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