It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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