but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
