I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
