I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I supernannyed him into submission
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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