Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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