Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
so much tequila, so little girl.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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