you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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