She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
