there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
