You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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