Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
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I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize