Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
