I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
is wine microwaveable?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
