4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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