I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
