I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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