Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
