carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
