it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
