the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
