sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she told me i tasted like america
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It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
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The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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