Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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