Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize